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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27611102">i don't even like you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/whores_have_feelings_too'>whores_have_feelings_too (orphan_account)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Porn, Closure, Dominance, Eventual Smut, Friendship, Hate Sex, Love/Hate, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Porn With Plot, Post-Canon, University</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 02:27:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,939</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27611102</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/whores_have_feelings_too</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After his friendship with Tsukishima falls apart, Yamaguchi realises it may not have been all he had imagined it to be. It takes him a long time to figure out the was Tsukishima treated him wasn't ok, but that doesn't mean all his feelings are resolved. Tsukishima made him feel miserable, but he can't seem to hate him, so what's left to do.</p>
<p>After years of letting Tsukishima do whatever he wants, Yamaguchi is ready to take control, and Tsukishima seems to like it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tsukishima Kei &amp; Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i don't even like you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When you’re young everything seems so big. Everything seems shiny and new, like you’re the first person to ever experience it. When Yamaguchi Tadashi fell in love with Tsukishima Kei, it could very well be the first love the world had ever known. He would be damned if it wasn’t the truest. Through all the five years that he’d loved him, their relationship was almost entirely platonic, they’d kissed once when they were both drunk as hell at a party a couple months before graduation, but nothing more than that ever happened. Still, Yamaguchi wouldn’t have asked for anything else. He was convinced the love they felt for each other was beyond anything physical, it was something pure, something spiritual. They were soulmates.</p>
<p>A lot had changed since those days. It had been two years since they’d graduated, and almost as long since the last time Tadashi talked to Tsukishima. When he decided to move to Kyoto for university he realised how fragile their friendship truly was. Tadashi thought they had the kind of bond that couldn’t break even if the world crumbled around them, the kind of bond from stories, the red string of fate. It turned out it could withstand even the short train ride across Japan. </p>
<p>Tsukishima would get jealous of every new friend Tadashi made, though he wouldn’t outright say it. Tadashi ended up having to exaggerate how much he missed him, pretend he wasn’t having the time of his life in university, pretend he was miserable. It got to the point where it was painful to be around his old friend. He grew very quickly in university, but for some reason he felt guilty showing that to Tsukki, like he was bragging or something, like he had outgrown him. He ended up having to revert to who he was in high school every time he saw or talked to his old friend, and though it started subconsciously, he began to hate being around him.</p>
<p>They had one fight. One. After all the shit Tadashi had convinced himself about their connection he was shocked to realise that one fight was all it took for the whole relationship to crumble. He was hurt, he was angry, but he didn’t want to make up. It wasn’t just that one fight ruined their friendship. It was the fact that after that one fight, Yamaguchi realised he was done with the whole thing. Or, he wanted to be done with it.</p>
<p>He wasn’t done with it though. Not even close. When he talked to Yachi about it she was ecstatic, she’d hated Tsukishima since day one. They’d had moments of something close to friendship, but they’d never truly gotten along. Yamaguchi had spent all of high school trying to mediate between his two friends, justifying Tsukishima’s actions to Yachi when Tsukishima couldn’t even be bothered to apologize, so even now, when he was so mad at Tsukishima he couldn’t bear to look at the picture of him that sat on his dorm room dresser, he felt the need to defend him to Yachi. He didn’t even know why he was doing it, he wanted to rant, to let out all his hurt and pain, but he couldn’t listen to Yachi saying he was a bad friend. She just didn’t understand. </p>
<p>He didn’t even realise how much his mind continued to defend Tsukishima, to idolize him. For months after their fight he couldn’t even point out a single thing his friend had done wrong. He was convinced it was his fault, or that it just didn’t work out for them, he was convinced Tsukishima was still one of the best friends he’d ever had. Maybe because some part of him realised how painful it would be to admit the truth.<br/>The first time he’d let Yachi talk shit about Tsukki without defending him, the first time he’d let himself fully take in what she was saying, was the summer break after he’d finished his first year of university. It had been probably seven months since his fight with Tsukishima. He was back in his hometown for the break and so was she. They met up the second day they were both back and he’d come over to her house to bake cookies.</p>
<p>“I’m so glad you’re not talking anymore,” Yachi told him as she reached to grab the flour from the cabinet above her.<br/>“Yeah, I guess,” Tadashi muttered, grabbing the flour and handing it to her so she wouldn’t have to climb up on the counter, “It’s weird though, he was my best friend.”<br/>“He was an asshole,” she gave him the look that always made him wonder how someone so tiny and adorable could be so scary.<br/>“You always hated him,” Tadashi laughed.<br/>He leaned back on the counter, waiting for her to tell him what to do next as she buzzed about, checking the recipe and then opening drawers and cabinets to collect ingredients.<br/>“I always hated him because he was always an asshole,” she corrected, “and you were an asshole when you hung out with him! Remember that kid Mochizuki? You guys bullied him for three years!”<br/>Tadashi cringed at the memory. Mochizuki had been a really nice kid and they’d treated him like shit. He knew it wasn’t an excuse but he hadn’t even realised what he was doing at the time. If you’d asked him he might have even said Mochizuki was his friend, but he knew he made his life miserable. He didn’t think of anything or anyone else when he was with Tsukishima. God, he regretted it now.<br/>“Yeah, well that wasn’t Tsukki’s fault,” Tadashi explained, “I was just as much to blame.”<br/>Yachi gave him a disapproving glare, “You were. You shouldn’t have done that, even if Tsukishima started it. But he wasn’t just an asshole to Mochizuki, or me, he was an asshole to you too.”<br/>She’d implied this before, but she’d never said it so directly. <br/>“No, no he wasn’t, he was a really good friend you just-”<br/>“Tadashi you were afraid of him,” she had genuine concern in her eyes and it made Yamaguchi feel sick, “You didn’t listen to music around him because you were so afraid of how he’d make fun of you if he found out you listen to girl groups. You would stop talking to Hinata when he walked into the gym because you thought he would drop you if he found out you didn’t hate the guy. I mean, did you forget I was there when you sobbed in the club room because he called you ugly after that haircut?”<br/>Tadashi didn’t want to hear all those memories in succession like that, it was beyond embarrassing.<br/>“I’m just too sensitive,” he explained, “and I was obsessed with impressing him. He didn’t know he was hurting me.”<br/>“Why can’t you just admit he was a bad friend? Do you think you wouldn’t have noticed if you made him cry? Do you think you could get, what? nine years into a friendship without being able to tell whether your friend was in excruciating pain?”<br/>“Tsukishima’s just bad with emotions-”<br/>“Then he should have asked! Did he ever ask you about your feelings? About what you wanted to do? To eat? To watch?”<br/>Tadashi felt sick. It was at that moment that he knew why even when they weren’t friends anymore he had to defend Tsukishima at every chance. Because it hurt more than words to describe to realize he was wrong. To realise Tsukishima had never been a good friend to him, that he’d always been a bad person. That whatever they’d had wasn’t love. It was barely friendship. It hurt like hell. </p>
<p>It wasn’t just heartbreak. It was more than that. His past, almost all of it, his life since he was a little kid, was memories of Tsukishima. Memories that, when built on the illusion of love, looked beautiful. Up to that point, he’d thought of himself as so tremendously lucky. He’d had an amazing childhood, middle school and high school, and almost every fond memory that supported that conclusion, was a memory of Tsukishima. Tsukishima was his life, or he had been for years, so realising all those good memories were flawed, obscured and filtered through the lens of a childish first love, meant he hadn’t lived the life he thought he had.</p>
<p>It was like Emerald City in the Wizard of Oz. Tadashi had loved those books as a kid. His memories built a beautiful oasis. Even if he wasn’t friends with Tsukishima any more he could wander through those memories and feel like he was floating on air. He had a beautiful life. But, now, suddenly, he had taken off the glasses and he was in a wasteland. He suddenly saw his life as it was, and everything was different. Tsukishima was bad to him. He was toxic. He had manipulated him into thinking he was the only person who would ever care for him and then he treated him like shit. They weren’t characters in a fairy tale, they weren’t in love. </p>
<p>It got to the point where Tadashi felt sick whenever he thought of his past, of who he used to be. He used to do the most fucked up things, and he had been so outright pathetic, clinging to Tsukishima like a baby koala. Especially now that he knew Tsukki didn’t deserve that, that they didn’t have anything special, thinking about how he used to act made him cringe. What’s worse was when he realised that’s still how a lot of people remembered him. He wished he could call every person he’d known in school and tell them how much he’d changed, how much he wasn’t himself at the time. He wanted the Tadashi from the past to be gone, not just from the real world but from people’s minds.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Second year university was even better than first year for Tadashi. He had gotten so close to his friends so quickly, it felt like he’d known them forever. He was finally at the point of hating Tsukishima, in every sense of the word. If the name came up in his phone calls with Yachi he would happily start on a rant to the point where even Yachi, the biggest Tsukishima hater in the world, was getting tired of it. His college friends had heard enough story’s about “my best friend when I was in school” to fill a novel, potentially a series. Still, there was a photo of the two of them in his room at his apartment.</p>
<p>He tried to just let Tsukishima be a part of his past, but it was hard. He could go about a month without thinking of him, but every time he did he was still in pain. All he wanted was to be over it. He knew when he talked about it his friends were wondering why he still cared so much about someone he hadn’t talked to in a year. Someone he hadn’t even dated. To a normal person this would already be ancient history, but he wasn’t normal, and the relationship he’d had with Tsukishima was anything but.</p>
<p>The truth was, the reason Tadashi couldn’t forget about his anger and hate for Tsukishima was because that wasn’t all he felt. If he let go of the anger, let go of the hate, he would be left with something worse. He’d be left with the traces of what he’d tried to get rid of before. The traces of his feelings. </p>
<p>That was what he hated Tsukishima for more than anything. More than the way he’d bullied him through their entire friendship. More than the way he’d isolated him from everyone else at their school to the point where he had no one to call when he was back home during breaks. Even more than the way he’d ruined his self-worth and self-esteem. Tadashi hated Tsukishima for the way he’d made him fall in love in a way he had never experienced since, and might never experience again. All the friends he’d had, the people he’d dated, he’d never felt anything even close to what he’d felt back then.</p>
<p>He knew it was all fake, all manipulation and lies and toxic codependency. He didn’t want any of that ever again, he couldn’t handle another relationship like that, but still he craved it. He craved the feeling he used to get just from Tsukishima looking in his eyes. The way he had really felt like the world was theirs, the way he’d loved life. He needed to feel that way again and he knew he never would again. It was like a magic trick and now Tadashi knew the secret. A magic trick doesn’t work if you know how it works, and Tadashi hated Tsukishima for revealing it.</p>
<p>When Yamaguchi came back home for summer after second year, he liked to think his feelings for Tsukishima were resolved, but he purposely organized his schedule in an effort not to run into his old friend for the entire break, and that wasn’t something you did for someone you felt neutral towards. That was another thing he hated Tsukishima for, he wanted to be excited for his trips home, but he always dreaded them. Still, he was happy to see his parents and it was nice to be back in his room. It was nearly two weeks since he’d come home when he was sitting at his desk, reading a novel one of his friends from university had recommended and he hadn’t had time to read during the semester.</p>
<p>Tadashi turned his head to the sound of his door being opened. He had heard some voices downstairs, but he hadn’t thought much of it. He wouldn’t have ever guessed the person walking through his door would be Tsukishima Kei.</p>
<p>“Hey Yamaguchi,” Tsukishima started, as if this was in any way normal, as if they were still friends, “Your mom let me in.”<br/>Tadashi glared at him silently for a couple seconds, collecting his thoughts before getting up from his desk.<br/>“What the hell are you doing here?”<br/>Tsukishima closed the door behind him, and Tadashi knew what he was doing. He was trying to keep Yamaguchi’s parents from hearing them fight. Even after all this shit he still wanted his parents to like him? The thing that killed Tadashi was they probably would. They would probably gush to him later about how Tsukishima was such a <i>nice boy</i>.</p>
<p>“I- We haven’t talked in a while and-” Tsukishima started.<br/>“We haven’t talked because we’re not friends. You didn’t figure that one out already?”<br/>“I know we’re not friends anymore, but I thought-”<br/>“No,” Tadashi didn’t want to hear this shit. Mostly because he was scared if he did he would be convinced, he would let Tsukishima back into his life, “No Tsukishima. We’re not friends, we’re not neighbours, we’re not anything. You’re nothing to me.”<br/>Tsukishima looked at Tadashi pleadingly. He looked him right in the eye. God, even when they were friends Tsukishima rarely did that. Yamaguchi hated himself for it, he hated his body, but it sent a chill up his spine. Holy shit it felt good when Tsukishima looked at him.<br/>“Tadashi you were my best friend,” Tsukishima’s voice was low, making Yamaguchi feel like he had been yelling.<br/>“Yeah, I was. I was a fucking amazing friend. I did everything for you. Everything to make sure you were happy and comfortable. I was the best friend you will ever have.”<br/>“You were,” Tsukki admitted. <br/>Tadashi felt his heart pound. Why did that feel so good to hear?<br/>“You didn’t deserve me.”<br/>He took a step towards Tsukishima, staring into his eyes and challenging him to look away. But he didn’t. He held Tadashi’s glare.<br/>“I didn’t.”<br/>The words were like drugs to Tadashi. They made him feel good. Powerful. <br/>He took another step closer to Tsukishima, so their faces were mere inches apart.<br/>“I guess it makes sense that you’ve come to beg for me then.”<br/>Tsukishima didn’t say a word, but his head bobbed in a tiny nod, still holding Yamaguchi’s gaze.<br/>“Well then, I’m ready,” Tadashi shoved on Tsukishima’s chest, his back hit the door with a thud and he slid down to the floor in front of him, “Beg.”</p>
<p>Yamaguchi didn’t know what he was doing. He had never acted like this before in his life, but it aggravated him to a point of white-hot rage that Tsukishima had showed up at his house like this. That he had come to his room, without asking him, and was expecting to, what? Be forgiven? As if there was anything he could do to make up for the pain Tadashi had gone through. As if he didn’t make his life worse just by existing in it. The rage had all but consumed him, he wanted to make Tsukishima pay, and it felt so unbelievably good to see him on the floor staring up at him.<br/>The look on Tsukishima’s face was so tremendously satisfying. He looked shocked, scared, but also guilty and, best of all, desperate. He looked so desperate it almost made Tadashi want to laugh. Desperate for Tadashi to see him, to forgive him, to love him again. It felt amazing. He looked almost as pathetic as Tadashi used to be, and Tadashi was prepared to treat him as badly as he’d been treated.</p>
<p>“Please. Tadashi, please forgive me.”<br/>Yamaguchi grimaced, “You know what? I changed my mind. I don’t want to hear your voice anymore.”<br/>He turned away and began to walk back to his desk. Maybe he had taken this too far. He should just get Tsukishima to leave before he did something he regretted. Suddenly he felt a tug on his pant leg. He turned around to see his ex-friend on all fours. He’d crawled after him.<br/>“Wait, Tadashi,” Tsukki looked close to tears, “What can I do?”<br/>Another tingle shot up Yamaguchi’s spine. Was he really going to do this?<br/>The conversation he’d had with Yachi almost a year before came to his mind and he felt a renewed disgust.<br/>He looked down with a twisted smirk, “You were my friend for nine years, you should be able to guess what I’d like.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>He didn’t know exactly how they got here, I mean, after over a year of not even speaking to Tsukishima, he didn’t wake up that morning thinking he’d have his dick halfway down his old friend’s throat, but god it felt good. Not just the blowjob, that was fine, though he was pretty sure Tsukishima didn’t have that much experience, but the feeling of having the guy he’d been in love with for years, the guy who’d treated him like nothing more than an inconvenience, the guy who’d poisoned nearly every memory he’d ever held dear, on his knees, on his bedroom floor, head between his legs, that was a feeling like he’d never felt before.</p>
<p>Tsukishima raised his eyes to Tadashi’s face, desperate to see if he was enjoying it. For some reason, it pissed Yamaguchi off. Did he want him to enjoy it because he wanted to make him happy, or was it because he wanted Yamaguchi to forgive him? He wanted some sort of leverage to make Yamaguchi become his friend again, so he could have his little pet back. Tadashi grabbed him by the back of his head and forced himself deeper down the blond’s throat.<br/>“Just focus on what you’re doing,” he reprimanded. <br/>Tsukishima made a choked, uncomfortable sound. <br/>“Huh?” Tadashi teased, continuing to hold Tsukishima’s head as close to his hips as he could, “I’m sorry Tsukki I didn’t quite get that.”<br/>Tsukishima grunted again before Tadashi let go of him. He took his head back and immediately started wheezing and coughing. Was Yamaguchi sick in the head? Why did watching the man he’d once loved doubled over at his feet, beside his bed, gasping for air, turn him on so much?<br/>“Do you want to stop?” Tadashi asked. <br/>He thought he’d be satisfied even if Tsukishima left now. He could cum on his own, but the idea of Tsukishima finally admitting he didn’t have what it took to deserve Tadashi’s love would be a different kind of release. To his surprise, however, Tsukishima didn’t leave. He slowly raised himself up to face Yamaguchi again and silently shook his head.<br/>Really? That wasn’t enough? He wasn’t ready to give up? If Tsukki wanted him so badly, why hadn’t he put a single ounce of effort into their friendship for the past ten years? <br/>As if his arm was moving on its own, Tadashi struck Tsukishima across the face. Hard enough to turn his head.<br/>“You like this, is that it? You like it when I hurt you? Is this what you wanted the whole time.”<br/>Tsukishima looked up at him with his same desperate eyes, looking guilty, looking ashamed. Already his cheek was starting to get red. Yamaguchi couldn’t stand to look at him. He raised his foot to cover Tsukishima’s face from his view and kicked him down to the floor. Though, it would’ve been better if he had shoes on. For a second Tadashi just sat on his bed, foot on Tsukishima’s face, thinking.<br/>What should he do about this? He didn’t want to fuck Tsukki, he couldn’t bear the idea of making him feel good, of giving him what he wanted, not when that was all he had done for so many years. At the same time, it felt so good to use him like this. He knew it probably wasn’t, he knew it was probably making everything worse, but he felt like he was getting closure. He hadn’t made a decision when Tsukishima drew him from his thoughts with his tongue, licking the arch of his foot.</p>
<p>Tadashi pushed himself off his bed so he was standing above Kei, at the right angle now to put his weight on the foot on Tsukishima’s face.<br/>“Who said you could do that?”<br/>Tsukishima groaned under Yamaguchi’s weight. Yamaguchi jerked his foot to the side with enough pressure to bring Tsukki’s face with it.<br/>“Well? Can’t you speak?”<br/>Tsukishima’s eyes met his again, the same emotion in them.<br/>“S- Sorry, Yamaguchi,” his voice was shaking.<br/>Tadashi dropped to his knees and sat on Tsukishima’s chest. His cock resting just before Tsukki’s chin.<br/>“God, are you that turned on you can’t form two words?” He grabbed Tsukishima’s head and tilted it down to his chest so his mouth could reach, “You disgust me.”</p>
<p>As Tsukishima started sucking him off again, Yamaguchi made a concerted effort to make as little sound as possible. He didn’t want him to know how good it felt. How well he was doing. Earlier he had thought that was probably Tsukishima’s first time sucking dick, but maybe he’d just been nervous. He was definitely doing better now. Had he sucked someone else's dick before he sucked Yamaguchi’s? Why did the thought of that piss him off so much?<br/>He couldn’t stand it anymore.<br/>“Stay still,” he instructed.<br/>He grabbed Tsukishima’s head with both hands and started moving his hips. That was better. This way it didn’t matter what Tsukishima had been doing in the past year, it didn’t matter what he wanted. This way he was just a hole.</p>
<p>Tsukishima looked up at Yamaguchi again. Why did he look like he was enjoying it? Wasn’t Yamaguchi punishing him? Wasn’t this payback? And, if all Tadashi wanted to do was break him, why did seeing that face make him feel happy?<br/>On reflex, Yamaguchi shoved himself deep down Tsukishima’s throat as he came. Deep enough that he wouldn’t even taste it. <br/>“Huh,” Tadashi commented, he supposed Tsukishima’s face affected him more than he thought, “I guess we’re done then.”<br/>He pushed Tsukishima’s head back, and lifted himself off his chest. He was buttoning up his fly when Tsukishima pulled on his pant leg again, still lying flat on the floor, looking exhausted.<br/>“P- Please,” he muttered.<br/>His voice was so rough it almost made Tadashi feel guilty for what he’d just done to his throat.<br/>Almost.<br/>“Please what Tsukishima?” Tadashi leaned down, a grin across his face.<br/>He’d felt a lot of emotions today, but this moment was undeniably fun. Maybe cumming improved his mood.<br/>“Please,” Tsukki tried again, touching his throat to try and distract from the pain, “fuh-”<br/>“Fuh?” Tadashi grabbed him by the chin and smiled in his face, “Fuck? Do you want me to fuck you Tsukishima?”</p>
<hr/>
<p>Yamaguchi had said he wouldn’t fuck Tsukishima, and he didn’t know why he’d changed his mind. He’d already cum, so it wasn’t like he was overly horny, plus this wasn’t normally something he would do. He’d tried topping a couple times with the guy he’d been hooking up with in first year, but it wasn’t really his thing. He’d normally rather bottom, and he’d certainly never imagined topping Tsukki, but watching Tsukishima beg for him, and now watching him sit on his bed stark naked, fingering himself to get ready for Tadashi’s dick, it excited Yamaguchi more than he could’ve expected.</p>
<p>“Come on Tsukki,” Tadashi pushed, “You’ve seen my cock now. Don’t you think you’ll need to use a couple more fingers?”</p>
<p>Tsukishima swallowed and inserted another finger. Yamaguchi was impressed that Tsukishima hadn’t put up a fight this entire time. While they had been friends Tsukishima had argued with him about just about everything. Tadashi could count on one hand the number of times they had done something because he wanted to. Now it seemed like he would do just about anything Yamaguchi told him. Tsukishima must really want him. </p>
<p>Yamaguchi cringed at himself. After all the time he’d spent trying to get over Tsukki, that thought shouldn’t make him as happy as it did. His good mood slightly ruined, Yamaguchi climbed onto the bed in front of Tsukishima and pulled the fingers out of his ass.<br/>“If you’re not going to take this seriously maybe I should just start.”<br/>He opened his fly again and took his dick out again.<br/>“Wait!” Tsukishima called.<br/>Tadashi paused, the head of his penis right on the entrance to Tsukishima’s hole.<br/>“Oh?” Yamaguchi was impressed he’d finally gotten Tsukishima to object to something, “What’s wrong?”<br/>Tsukishima looked embarrassed, like he knew he shouldn’t be talking back, “Are- Aren’t you going to wear a condom?”<br/>Tadashi smiled. That was what got him? He had fucked his throat like a pussy five minutes ago,  but it was the lack of condom that pushed him over the edge?<br/>“What? Scared you’ll get pregnant?” Tadashi teased.<br/>Tsukishima looked away like he was too embarrassed to explain. Yamaguchi tried to grab his face and make him look at him again, but Tsukishima’s eyes wouldn’t meet his. Fine, if he was going to be a brat about it. Yamaguchi got up and started fishing through his suitcase. He knew he didn’t have any condoms in his childhood room, but he might have packed some from university. Finally, he found it.<br/>“There’s one,” he announced, “So you better make sure you cum before I do.”</p>
<p>Once he put it in, however, Tadashi realised that wasn’t going to be a problem. Tsukishima was still tight, he probably should have given him more time to get ready, but it was clear he was also really turned on. He whimpered whenever Tadashi moved, and Tadashi hadn’t even started thrusting yet. <br/>“You little slut,” Yamaguchi smiled as he draped Tsukishima’s long legs over his shoulders, “How long have you wanted me inside of you.”<br/>Tsukishima just gasped in response, unable to speak.<br/>“Hey,” Tadashi grabbed him tightly by the cheeks, “I asked you a question.”<br/>“I-” Tsukishima panted, “Always. I always wanted you.”<br/>“You’re lying,” Tadashi slapped him, it was the same spot as earlier and it had grown very red since the first time he hit it, so he imagined it hurt quite a bit, “Don’t lie to me.”<br/>“I’m not,” Tsukishima managed between heavy breaths, “I promise.”<br/>Yamaguchi started to move faster, causing Tsukishima to moan loudly.<br/>“Shut up,” Yamaguchi put his fingers in Tsukishima’s mouth while he looked around for something better to gag him with, “Did you forget my mom’s home?”<br/>He wanted to blame Tsukishima, though if his mom found out it would be his own fault too. He was shaking the bed so hard he thought it might break, and he didn’t plan on stopping any time soon. How could he?</p>
<p>“I always wanted you.”<br/>Yamaguchi had always had some suspicion his feelings for Tsukishima had been reciprocated. Even though it was a bad thing to do, there was a reason he’d isolated him from everyone else in their school, there was a reason he kept him around all hours of the day. Still, he’d never admitted it, so Tadashi always had to wonder if that had just been wishful thinking. It was nice to know he hadn’t been imagining things, but it was also so frustrating to know Tsukishima had been hiding this for all these years. It pissed him off to know that all the times he’d doubted himself, felt ugly, or useless, or stupid because of something Tsukishima did or said, really this had been what he’d wanted. He could have taken as much power as he’d wanted over Tsukki but instead, he’d been like his loyal fucking servant. </p>
<p>But now things were different, and he would take as much power as he wanted.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Never thought I'd be writing Haikyuu smut, but here we are.</p>
<p>I hope people enjoyed, and if you, like me, had a long term co-dependant homo-erotic friendship that ended in a dramatic, yet unsatisfying friendship breakup, I hope you can find some satisfaction through reading Tadashi's story.</p>
<p>&lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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